Guaranteed to Work

Nim says:
http://www.aralifestyle.com/article.aspx?UserFeedGuid=bf387abe-3a1c-4758-a448-d78578631598&ArticleId=2453&ComboId=13918&title=Breakthrough-discovery-for-joint-relief&origin=222839-APP13

Nim says:
this picture looks like it was put together by someone who doesn't understand what a knee looks like

Bravewolf says:
riiiight... "Researchers in Cambridge, Mass., have discovered..." Where's the study? Where's the citations?
it's a special knee

Nim says:
but it looks like the knee caps are on the backs of the knees.

Bravewolf says:
just by taking this product, your knee will reform itself into a Super-Knee(TM). Hop like a kangaroo! Leap 6 foot fences in a single bound! Always wanted to screw around in a construction site with all that pesky barbed wire protecting it from unauthorized entry? Now's your chance!

Nim says:
haha

Bravewolf says:
I'm sure it's totally legit.

We (heart) Dooce

Things you never want to hear our trainer say in the middle of a workout

I'm considering hiring the services of a nutritionist, if not a personal trainer. My physical fitness regimen is suffering of late. It's like I don't have any motivation - I have the equipment and the ability to take on a significant amount of exercise, but I just don't. Something has to change.

The problem is, of course, that I'm lazy. Most people are, but some hide it better than others.

Kinda Barefoot Running?

These are the shoes that I had for about a week before popping them in the mail to return to MEC because one of the straps unravelled. I wore them twice and I'm waiting eagerly for their replacements.

I wore them for a little while the day I bought them and adjusted to walking "barefoot". I also discovered that even though the Vibram soles protected against most things, they did not protect against the pain of stepping on a small rock with all your weight on your foot.

I have pes planus; for the uninitiated, that means flat feet. When I walk barefoot for any length of time, my arches (what there is left of them) start feeling like day-old taffy - feeling stretched and start jabbing me with pain. So I wear orthotic insoles, which solve the problem, more or less, even though I can feel it when I've been walking for a couple of hours.

I was pleased to find that these Five Fingers KSO shoes seemed to address this to some extent. They have very good arch support. I'm not about to go out and run a marathon, but I am hoping that I could start running my local trails and see if I can build up to a decent distance.

It's an interesting feeling, running with these shoes. First, you don't have any artificial barriers, which means that your ankles get tired a lot faster than in regular shoes. Second, you can feel your tendons working that much more. Third, you feel a lot more aware of your feet.

I'm not about to praise these shoes to the skies; I'm starting slow so my arches have time to adjust (if they do adjust; there's every chance that things can go the other way). What I'm hoping is that they will strengthen. However, I'll have to get back to this blog on that.

I found some interesting tips over at Zen Habits on starting barefoot running. I'm going to try them when I get my new shoes and we'll see how things go in a few weeks.

Surf your pounds away!

This is my awesome new weight loss attempt. I hope that I'll at least walk some of the time and the rest of the time, I'll be standing, which will hopefully discourage me from spending hours in front of the computer! At least it will encourage me to pick up a weight or two every so often.

My stationary cycle desk didn't work so well. It was awkward to get into and half most of the time, I didn't cycle at all. At least on this, you have to stand. And standing means that you are a) burning more calories and b) not sitting. My butt is seriously starting to get numb from the hours I spend in the chair at work, at home... it's time to try a change. (What's next if this doesn't work out? A giant tub where I can do leg kicks while typing through a plastic interface?)

Here are the biggest problems I've noticed:

• The whole thing shakes when it's on. This means that the computer desk shakes; everything shakes. Not sure that this is fixable, no matter what I've got. It's the nature of portable exercise machines.
• The lights dim when I turn this thing on. I'm paying close attention to my next electric bill and I'm also on the lookout for a cheap manual treadmill. This cost me $30 off of Craigslist and I can probably get the same or slightly more/less for it if I move to a different model.
• It's noisy, making watching TV for my boyfriend somewhat problematic. Bless his heart, he hasn't complained. Apparently the noise of an ancient treadmill is less annoying than me moaning about my inexplicable weight gain while I stuff another chocolate bar in my gob while working on my 3rd hour in my computer chair after spending 8 sitting on my ass at work. There are quieter treadmills out there - again, I'm on the hunt for another.

We'll see how this works out in the next few weeks.

Walking, the All-Purpose Exercise

Today I went for a run, walked Tierce across the sand flats in Courtenay, BC and walked for another hour with a friend while we solved the problems of life, love and the universe.

Walking is something that most people do on a regular basis, but it's not always seen as a serious workout. However, if you walk - walk like you have some ass to kick and can't wait to get to it - you can have a seriously badass workout without actually exhausting yourself and having time to enjoy the scenery.

One hour of brisk walking can burn between 250-300 calories. That doesn't seem like a lot, but you're not just going for burning calories; you're building endurance and working your legs, butt and abs. You can work them even more if you incorporate hills into your workout. Or, strap on a backpack.

Walking is the original all-ages, all-fitness levels exercise. If you want to build your cardio, this is where it starts.

(My arm workouts came from hauling Tierce back when he wanted to make a close personal acquaintance with a Trumpeter Swan. This was not for the swan's sake; those things would have kicked Tierce's ass from here back to Nanaimo.)

And the Winner is.....

So, the search for the perfect gym is complete. Okay, maybe not perfect gym but good. My perfect gym would include a hot tub and cute guys with no shirts giving out free massages.. but I digress.

My gym dilemma really came down to the choice between the Nanaimo Aquatic Centre and the Anytime Fitness gym at Southgate Mall. (I'd link the Aquatic Centre but there is no proper website for it that I can find for it)

The benefits to the Aquatic Centre is that it's a bit closer to my house and that for my membership fee I get access to the pool facility as well. However, it does tend to get a ton of teenagers in it after school let's out.

The benefits of the Anytime Fitness gym are that it's 24 hour, so I can go whenever is convenient for me, there is a huge range of brand new machines and free weights there, they have a squat rack and a smith machine, AND that it's not within walking distance to the high school :)

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against teens working out at the gym, I think it's awesome that they're exercising; I just have issues with groups of them taking over parts of a busy gym and standing around and talking while they leisurely sorta work out.

So, for me, the clear winner is the Anytime Fitness facility. The fact that it's a properly stocked gym makes it far more appealing to me. The Aquatic Centre, when I had my previous membership, was really frustrating due to it's lack of equipment. They also offer a free 7 day trial membership, which is pretty nice.

So, two workouts into it so far and I already just about can't dress myself in the mornings, I can hardly wait until I work out hard!

In which Nim does her best Jesus impersonation and returns from the dead..

Okay, so I wasn't *dead*.. I had the flu. Let me tell you though, I certainly WISHED that I was dead! Or at least unconscious for a week.

Nothing puts a damper into your best fitness plans like a bout of illness or an injury. I've had months of progress derailed due to a shoulder strain that killed my motivation to work out for weeks afterwards.

However, now that I'm feeling myself again, I'm going to get back to my project of researching local gyms so that I can find one that really suits my needs before I lock myself into a monthly payment. Whereas this wasn't a huge pressing need up until now, with our office's new program of paying for 50% of gym membership costs I want to ensure that I am taking full advantage of that!

There are two gyms near my house that I'm considering getting memberships at, the first one is the Nanaimo Aquatic Centre and the second one is a 24 hour gym. They're both close to the same price, so I just need to compare what I'd be getting for my money.

The Aquatic Centre has a gym and pool facility included in the price. There are a few big drawbacks to this gym though. There are no barbells and there is no Smith machine. So, while I can do squats with dumbbells, this is a little less than ideal. Also, the hours that they're open aren't great and in the afternoon/early evening the facility tends to be infested with sweaty teenagers.

The good thing about the Aquatic Centre is that you can use the pool and hot tub after you've worked out; though they tend to be full of teenagers too. Also, this gym is the closer of the two to my house. It might also be slightly cheaper, though I might be mistaken on this point.

Next time: my review of the 24 hour gym...

Get ripped (off)!

Yeah, because this guy was so gargantuan in the first picture. Positively corpulent. Um.

Actually I find the top picture a lot more attractive than the one below. Extremes don't appeal to me. So what if Buddy loses bodyweight that he didn't need to; what does that prove?

What could his secret be? Could it possibly be a lot of vegetable matter and lean protein and healthy fats taken in moderate amounts? How about the limiting of alcohol and sweets? Regular exercise? Do we really need to click on the ad to learn how to get our bodies where they're supposed to be?

Let's click. Oh, my! Apparently you can subsist on chicken chimichangas because

"Turns out this guy knows one of the personal trainers who works with a bunch of the Hollywood elite, and he told him that basically all of Hollywood is using this new bio-engineered hemo-dialator stuff called Acai Elite Extreme to pack on muscle and this other new supplement called Official Cleanse to burn the fat and clean out their colon (gross I know but that's how they get their skin tight and their waste so thin)."

(Please tell me that "waste" is a typo)

Wait a minute, if you know a guy who knows a guy, why aren't you telling the rest of us mere mortals that guy's name? Surely he's not ashamed of his "stuff" that you claim he is using. Surely he has some empirical evidence that proves that Acai and colon cleansing help you lose weight and "make your abs pop out" (Where? In someone's eye?).

The guy on the right looks like he knows that I entered my information for a *free* sample of AcaiElite Extreme but balked at entering my credit card info. Maybe he knows that I'm writing this post! MAYBE HE KNOWS WHERE I LIVE. That's a disquieting thought.

Evil Bitch that I am, I'm suspicious of anything that promises to be the ultimate solution for your weight loss woes, especially something that requires a credit card. It's almost like I don't trust these people!

The thing is, nothing works except diet and exercise. Oh, yeah, you could get your stomach stapled, but it isn't exactly recommended for losing that last 10 pounds. And I would give Acaicoloncleansersupercreatineprotein supplements a miss. Dog knows what else they put in there... just look at Muscles here. Maybe it's just the colon cleanse that he's going through.

Bodyweight Ass Kicking

Okay, so I'm trying more flexible options for working out like the Prison Workout. Yesterday, while my boyfriend and a bunch of people in our local SCA group did heavy fighting (that's not a bad workout, but I'm not that into it anymore), I did burpees, pushups, deep chair pushups, tricep dips, squat jumps and lunge jumps.

I did 50 burpees. 50. That makes me sound like a total badass, but really, I did them 10 at a time, with lengthy intervals between, because burpees kick your ass, take names and then come back the next day with your audit.

Burpees with Zuzana

See? Zuzana, of BodyRock.tv is panting with 12 of these fuckers and she pwns me every day just by being alive. You should totally check out her site; awesome fitness workouts, nutrition advice (that I don't follow because I haven't yet given up my gorging habits), and a host of other great tips that will get you lean and mean. Or me, because that's my goal. She's also smoking hot.

So anyway, I did pushups. I'm back trying out for the one hundred pushups routine. I managed to pump out 27 of those fuckers. 27! Now you can worship me as a goddess, but not until you realize that my best number ever was 45. How the mighty have fallen. That puts me at Level 3. The problem I've had with the 100 pushup workout is that I stall at around Level 4. But, we shall try again.

THEN I did chair pushups. This is where you take three chairs and position them in an isosceles triangle, so that each hand rests on a chair and your feet rest on the third. Then start doing pushups. Ten of those will exhaust you nicely (more if you're wearing armour, as some of the lads found).

The first run...

I went for a run yesterday. 5.02 km at 41:27. The Nike iPod thingie tells me this burned 376 calories.

I have flat feet from an unfortunate sojourn in the infantry. I also haven't run for months, since serious shin splints started making my life hell.

This time I was more circumspect, walking when I was feeling stressed and running when I felt good to go. Tierce was running with me.

Running with Tierce must account for a few more calories burned than normal. He is not the ideal dog to run with; he likes running ahead and pulling on the lead, stopping only when I roar profanity at him. Or, he decides to pee - waiting, of course, until he comes to the end of his leash and jerks me out of stride.

We also practice "mindful running" where I am mindful of where rabbits are likely to be so Tierce doesn't gut me when he charges after them (I have a flexi-lead waist band). I am also aware of where Tierce and the leash are in regards to cyclists and other runners, so he does not clothesline anyone while I'm blissfully rocking out to the music du jour or my collection of Librivox ghost tales.

At some point I'm going to whip a measuring tape around me (glad to put it off another day), but I really have to get away from the computer and spend an hour or so lifting weights so I can stop putting it off.

Because I'm all that and a bag of chips... seriously

In my 20s, I was fit as hell - I could do 45 pushups and bench press 155 pounds. Yay, me. Now I can scarcely get through half the pushups and haven't done a barbell bench press in a frighteningly long time (I can still do 60 lb dumbbells, though. Rawr.)

Exercise and myself have had a long and tenuous relationship. Sometimes we get along swimmingly, but sometimes when it comes time to keep appointments with Exercise, I am much more inclined to dally on the computer or stay in bed or dawdle in between sets until it's time to prepare for work or whatever.

However, I am determined to change my ways. While I think that my weight does not matter as much as my size and how I feel, I have a sneaking suspicion that the nearly-180 pounds that I weigh now could be chiseled down somewhat. I'm a size 12 and I think that a 10 is a much preferable number. I have not done any measurements, not that I'm eager to, but I think that I should publish them in hopes of later blogging my triumphant shrinkage.

Today I tried out my new Nike + system with my iPod and it was fun, particularly because it was one of those rare combinations of good weather and a weekend that fall so rarely on us mortals who toil during the week. I thought it was a neat system, but I question the accuracy of the calorie counter, although I would be thrilled if the numbers shown to me are somewhat near what I am actually burning.

I also have a small dog who accompanies me on these walks and runs and who comes occasionally to inspect my face when I do pushups and sometimes makes me cycle off of cliffs when I play with the Wii Fit Plus by nudging my knee with his nose.

Tierce is a Shiba inu, a breed of dog bred for running up and down mountains in search of animals that it can kill. He makes a good companion on walks, runs and hikes, but is rather poor at feedback. I therefore thought that a fitness blog with Nim might be more effective at getting me off the computer and down on the floor doing pushups or outside, frolicking with the dog.

Nim: Destroyer of Little Orange Cut-out Metal Animals

Today was my day off; the one day off that I get in a whole week actually. And instead of spending it sleeping in and lounging around like a big—somewhat stiff—couch potato after last night's back-to-the-gym workout, I got up at 7:30 in the morning to go out to a black powder trail shoot with my friend Greg.

Now, Greg, who is my brother in another life-time, has been working on getting me into shooting for a while now. He talked about taking me to the range to try it out for about a year before last summer when we finally made it out to the range to have a go at it. Since then we've spent some rather pleasant afternoons out at the local range, with him shooting and then me shooting.. and then him telling me that I don't suck. And since I know enough not to sweep anyone with the muzzle or use a revolver to gesticulate with.. I think I'm doing okay.

So, this morning we headed out at a ridiculously early hour for a Saturday outing and arrived at the Nanaimo Fish and Game Club for a morning of black powder trail shooting. There were about a dozen really friendly people—mostly men, but a few women too—who turned up to shoot this morning and we grouped up with a couple of other shooters and headed out as the last foursome across the skeet shooting field onto the trail. The skeet shooting range is almost surreal to walk across; I don’t know how long that it has been going on in that location but there are so many smashed clay pigeons scattered across the field that you feel like you’re walking across a beach thick with layers of broken shells.

We entered the trees and walked up the path to the beginning of the trail where everyone loaded while we waited our turn. Black powder is a really interesting type of shooting; much of the culture is concerned not just with the shooting aspect of it, but also the related skills and activities from the early pioneer-days like leather working and outdoor cooking. Even without going to an event where everyone has dressed up in their appropriate clothes for such a time period, I can really see how the feeling of being in this time period could happen.

Black powder shooting, even when your targets are little metal cut outs of animals painted day-glo orange, really gives you an interesting feel for shooting. I got to shoot a variety of long guns, both flintlock and percussion cap styles, and immediately was hooked. While I’m sure that some of this result was due to the fact that I hit about 75% of my targets, I’m sure that it was also a result of the flash of the sparks right in front of me, the pouf of smoke, and the smell of real gunpowder every time I fired. Everyone in my group let me fire their gun and was very encouraging with their hints and tips for my stance and aiming; making me feel very comfortable and at ease.

I’m looking forward now, even more, to taking my firearms course and working on my skills. There is nothing more empowering than learning a new skill, especially ones that kept our ancestors alive a few hundred years ago that aren’t common anymore.

The Return of Nim in the Gym: take 1

Well.. after a few months of pondering a return to the gym, and a couple of weeks of cursing over my almost new jeans that I couldn't comfortably wear after devouring every Xmas goodie I could get my hands on.. I returned to the gym today.

Well, maybe "returned to the gym" is a little misleading; I went to the gym that I used to frequent and worked out. One time. Today.

What did I learn, you ask? Well, it seems that they've removed some of the weight machines and installed more cardio machines, which in itself isn't a bad thing, if you like cardio. (Imagine me making a bad face here, because really, I am) They STILL don't have any barbells or a Smith machine there either, which is scandalous. Also, I learned to NOT go to the gym on a Friday night because the place is literally CRAWLING with teenagers. And, I learned that the old gym routine that I discovered on my computer that someone made for me three years ago isn't going to cut it.

I had grandiose plans of using a workout schedule in the book The New Rules of Lifting For Women but honestly, they didn't appeal to me very much. The way that people work out can be so particular that I think it's hard to just make one regime and give it to everyone. So, I'm going to take aspects of that and blend it with exercises that I like (and can do in the facility that I go to) and see how that goes.

Before I settle on a new gym—and fork out the gobs of money that they want—I'm also going to check out another gym close to where I live that has 24 hour access. It's kind of a neat concept and I have a friend who goes there so I might have a gym buddy too.

Why do I keep forgetting how much I enjoy this?

Chapter 1: In Which We Find Bravewolf and Nim Beginning Their Adventure in Fitness...

... yet again.

Both of us have enjoyed a range of fitness levels; from couch potato to gymrat and just about everything in between. However, due to latent ambivalence and apathy over the last few months (wow, understatement much?) we've both been slacking. Keep in mind that slacking for Bravewolf is far less slacky than it is for me, a mom and avid gamer; at least she rides her bike to work and home everyday!

Enough with the self-chastising however, and on with the journey.. such as it is.